Tears on my Heart
by bra twilight
Summary: Arwen is depressed. Aragorn/Estel is happy-go-lucky. Elrond is strange. Legolas is there. This DOES have a plot. It's based on "what if Aragorn was an Elf?"
1. Default Chapter

Tears On My Heart 

tinuviel  


NOTE: This is an AU fic with Aragorn as an Elf and him being born a year before Arwen, meaning the year 240, which makes him closer in relation to Isildur.  


Prologue :"Fallen Into Shadow"

_Dead. He fought bravely... He is dead. Gilraen hugged her arms about herself tightly, tears falling out of her eyes like rain from a storm cloud. The news had come to her over a month ago._

_Shot by orcs, Arathorn, Chieftain of the Dunedain of Arnor, was dead. Gilraen found it so hard to believe. Just a month ago, his eyes had been vibrant, sparkling with life; but now his eyes lay quenched, grey and dead._

_Her life now held little meaning. It was so soon after his father's death. No longer were they royal. The death of Isildur had changed that. Arathorn was only four generations after Isildur._

_"Mama!" her son cried, tugging at her skirt. She smiled wearily at Aragorn. At the time of his father's death, Aragorn's ears had grown more pointed and his sight more keen. There was no doubt in Gilraen's eyes now. Her son was of the race of the Quendi._

_That night, it began to rain. Heavily the rain fell, a sign of sorrow and mourning. Gilraen wrapped herself and her young son in cloaks. It was time. She would take Aragorn to Imladris, where he could have the life she couldn't give him._

_Aragorn soon grew weary of the journey and so Gilraen carried him much of the way. After a few hours, she reached Imladris and the rain stopped. She flung off her hood and knocked at the gates of Imladris._

_Lord Elrond himself met her there. "I have been expecting you, Lady Gilraen," he said gravely; his grey eyes piercing her own emeralds. She brushed her dark bangs out of her face. "Can you take care of Aragorn, my son, for me, Lord Elrond? I can help him no longer. He is of Elven-kind. Arathorn has fallen into shadow, and I have the life to deal with immortals no longer."_

_She held the sleeping Aragorn out to Elrond, who held the child in his arms. "I shall harbour him here."_

_Gilraen smiled and walked away. After a few minutes, his young daughter Arwen came to meet him at the gates. "Daddy, who's that?" She asked curiously, pointing at Aragorn. "Estel I shall call him, Undomiel," he whispered the next part more quietly, "for you are the hope of many."_

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__Finite 

So, what did you think of Tears On My Heart, or TOMH, Prologue? It gets more romantic, so don't worry. The names Estel and Undomiel are taken from LotR itself. I luv Aragorn. Legolas will be in the next chapter, for Legolas fans. I'm still gonna make Elrond an overprotective father, like Gohan is to Pan in DBZ. 

Farewell, 

tinuviel 


	2. The Star of Earendil

Tears On My Heart 

tinuviel 

NOTE: Like I said in the prologue this is an AU fic. Also, I am experimenting with doing each chapter in a different character's point of view. This chapter is in Arwen's POV. All the characters are OOC so don't think, Oh My God, I never knew she felt that way, cause I made them this way. I'm so happy! I just got _The Book of Lost Tales 2_. I bought some manga and an Enya CD too, but that doesn't really matter. How cool, Beren's an ELF! YAY! I don't own any song lyrics I use in this fic. Ithil is the nickname I made Aragorn/Estel give to Arwen. It means, literally, the Moon. I made up Arwen's song to Elbereth. 

_Elvish_ is in italics 

Chapter 1:"The Star of Earendil" 

_Almost three thousand years later..._

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_"Wherefore, O maiden of mine, does thou not pull this folly away from thee, and seek to do my bidding?"--Tinwelint/Elu Thingol/Elwe Singollo/Tinwe Linto The Book of Lost Tales 2_

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_One Ring to rule them all_

_One Ring to find them_

_One Ring to bring them all_

_and in the darkness,_

_Bind them_

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__So speaks the Prophecy of Sauron. It is an old prophecy, created ages ago. It is a true prophecy also. In the beginning, there was Melkor, Lord of Darkness, Morgoth Bauglir, the Great Enemy of the World. Now there is Sauron the Deceiver, Lord of the Rings, King of Barad-dur, Lord of Mordor. Once there was Luthien Tinuviel, fairest of all Elven-maidens, and Beren Ermabwed, great hunter of the Noldoli. And there were the Three Great Jewels, the Silmarils. And the Iron Crown of Morgoth Bauglir. 

_Who can say_

_where the road goes_

_where the day flows_

_-only time_

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I, I am merely Arwen Undomiel, the Lady of Imladris and of Lorien, who walks in the likeness of Luthien Tinuviel, daughter of Thingol and Melian. I walk in her likeness, but I am not her. Nor do I wish to share her Doom. Her Doom that none of the _Eldalie_ know. 

  
There are some things better left untouched and there are some things better off unmade. It is not the fate of the _Eldalie_ to decide what to do. It is left to mortal Men doomed to die and names better left unspoken. No more shall that be done. The last great battle of the _Eldalie_ of the West is approaching. Where is our hope? 

_And who can say_

_if your love grows_

_as your heart chose_

_-only time_

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It is the Doom of the _Quendi_ to live forever, and the Doom of the _Atani_ to die. Yet there are many other creatures not of the Two Kindreds for whom so much pain and suffering has happened. My father knows of them and so, perhaps, do my brothers. I know not. I care not overmuch. 

Estel knows, and cares, but not truly. He enjoys meddling in their wars, fighting for unknown and pitiful causes. The _Atani_ have no peace with themselves, so they fight amongst each other. Estel delights in those wars, for then he finds fighting to be done. Estel, according to the measure of my father, the hope of many. I see not yet what hope he shall maybe bring. I know not if I shall ever see. 

_Who can say_

_why your heart sighs_

_as your love flies_

_-only time_

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I kick at some dust with my sandaled feet. I am Evenstar, I care not for the Dooms of others. I care not, and I pity no one. Estel has always wondered why I care not for anything. I can't really explain it to him, or to anyone. Estel, who cares not much more than I, who never listens--to anyone. I walk in the gardens of Imladris. Estel says I am too sheltered from the outside world and pleads with my father for my freedom. I appreciate that, but it does no good. 

I shall always be a prisoner here. My heart flies ever south, but I am kept here. I cannot go anywhere alone. I am the magical Lady of Rivendell, who commands all, who no one knows. To many, I am merely a rumour of great beauty and great power. I wish I were more than a flitting shadow. But if my father gets his way, I never shall be. 

_And who can say_

_why your heart cries_

_when your love lies_

_-only time_

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__The beautiful valley of Imladris surrounds me and encloses me. It is both my home and my prison. Dusk falls upon my shoulders. The ashes of last night's fire in the Hall of Whispers blow in the breeze. I stand alone in the darkness, silent as a shadow. A half-smile appears on my lips. "Oh Elbereth Elentari, Queen of the stars! Queen with a power far greater than mine! Oh Elbereth, to you I pray! When I cry in darkest night, rescue me from my gilded cage! I am imprisoned in this fair land against my will! Why will my plight not reach one who might care and who might dare, to change my fate..." 

I smile. The star of Earendil shines brightly tonight, and for once, I am not alone. The stars are by my side. _"_Ithil, what fun is it to watch the stars alone?" I turn around slowly and come face to face with the clear sapphire eyes of Estel. "Estel, I came out here not to watch the stars, but to--" "But to _think_, Ithil. I know you better than that." 

_Who can say_

_when the roads meet_

_that love might be_

_in your heart_

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__"I am growing weary of Imladris, Estel. I seek a way out of this prison. 'Tis worse than the fires of Mount Orodruin for I cannot do anything here, but fade away like sunlight in the evening." "I know, Ithil. I will get you far away from here. Ithil, I promise." The serious tone of his voice as he clasped my hand within his catches my attention. "One day, we will go away together." 

"Thank you. It's nice to know someone cares." I say coldly. Estel is the fire that warms my cold heart. But sometimes even the hottest fire cannot melt my heart. Cast me into the fires of Mount Orodruin, it will merely avail to bring the wrath of Estel and my father's land, my mother's also. The wrath of Mirkwood would be awakened also. Prince Legolas is the best friend of Estel. "Ithil, someday you should go to mortal lands, then you may learn the gift of judgement-making, a gift many Elves, including yourself, lack." He speaks sarcastically, yet there is a grain of truth in what he says. I can see the truth in his statement. Yet I see no reason to heed it. 

_And who can say_

_when the day sleeps_

_if the night keeps_

_all your heart_

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__He rolls his eyes. The moment is over, I see that. "I thought to attempt to reason with you, Ithil. But there is no reasoning with the Heart of Ice. Surely I _should_ know that by now, right? I don't. Your father does though; he acts like you don't exist, or when he remembers you, it's to lock you up or introduce you to a suitor... I think it's the departure of Lady Celebrian five hundred years ago, that made him grumpy." 

I stand there; frozen in time for a moment. Celebrian, my mother. The reason I used to act my age, young and immature. I still am, so is Estel, but he acts like it. I can't. The white flowers that bloom near her grave, _niphredil_, began to bloom at the birth of Luthien Tinuviel. They're pretty flowers, but the white always makes me think of sadness and tears. The flowers are fallen tears. 

_Night keeps_

_all your heart_

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__Is there a reason to trust in hope? "So, Ithil, you heard about the War upon Gondorian borders? You heard about the _Ulairi_ returning to all their old haunts? And," he lowers his voice, even though we are the only ones here, "a Balrog is come to Moria." I gasp. Balrogs are the ancient enemies of many; and have killed many. Who is not to fear a Balrog? Servants of evil, originally employed by Morgoth Bauglir, they hold whips of flame. 

Balrogs have not been seen for hundreds of years. Maybe that's why, we seem so afraid of them. Maybe they really are to be feared that much. But, I really don't think they are to be. They can be destroyed with weapons. They can be taken down by force. They can be felled by any with greatness in their heart. They are no longer invincible. And I know not if the Lord of the Ring knows that. Well, do you know? For I certainly don't. 

_Who can say_

_if your love grows_

_as your heart chose_

_-only time_

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__Estel smiles. "But, they're not invincible. And we are, Ithil. We are." I turn away from him for a moment. "Immortal, yes. But invincible, no one is." "You are _such_ a pessimist, Ithil. Do you ever look at _anything_ on the _bright_ side?" I giggle, kicking a stone with my shoe. "When it seems necessary. Do you ever look at anything on the _dark_ side?" "When it seems necessary." He says imitating me. For the moment we immerse ourselves in giggles. 

We're finished talking about serious matters, and we're on to the normal things, trivial matters. "Have you heard Thranduil is seeking a _fiance_ for Legolas?" "No, that's new. Who's he thinking of?" "He's thinking of you," I gasp. Legolas would _never_ agree to that. We're just friends. "and Niphredil, and Silmarien, and Laurelinte. Maybe others. I haven't heard their names. Personally, I think it's gonna be Silmarien. No offense, Ithil, but Legolas just doesn't have a romantic interest in you." I smile. "That's good. I have no romantic interest in him, either." 

_And who can say_

_where the road goes_

_where the day flows_

_-only time_

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__"After all, there's no one prettier than Arwen Undomiel, whatever Legolas may think. But I'm beginning to think Legolas may have a romantic interest in Silmarien." I blush. Only Estel could flatter someone so much without noticing. "Anyone else married off? Probably not, seeing as most parents are waiting nowadays to see if the match will pan out." "Yeah, I almost forgot." "Meaning you _did_ forget, Estel." "No difference. Anyway, Laurelinte married Elwe of Lorien." 

"I'm happy for her. Those two make a perfect match." "Yeah, I agree. Elwe's a much better match for Laurelinte than Legolos is." "So, last I heard, Nimloth was in love with Legolas. Is she still?" "Yeah, Legolas has absolutely _no_ interest in her. I _almost_ feel bad for her. _Almost_ is the key word." "I figured you'd feel that way. Nimloth is _such_ an idiot." 

_Who knows_

_-only time_

_Who knows_

_-only time_

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__"I agree. _If_ Nimloth ever had a brain, it's sure not there now." We begin to walk in towards my room as the stars begin to fade. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Estel," I smile as I walk in to my small house. "Yeah, I guess so, Ithil. Hey, we get to alarm Legolas and your brothers tomorrow!" "Estel, you are _so_ childish sometimes. Oh well, it's fun anyway, freaking them out." 

He nods. "So, good night. May the _Valar_ protect you, Ithil." He disappears beyond my street swiftly, to, no doubt, sleep. I smile. Maybe tomorrow will be kind and allow to have fun scaring my brothers and Legolas. He's like a brother to me, Legolas. Just like he's a brother to Estel. 

_Who really does know,_

_What the day brings_

_In the morning_

_I certainly don't_

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_Maybe I shouldn't think about it_

_And who knows_

_Why time leaves_

_In the night_

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_Maybe Eru does_

_Maybe the Valar know_

_Maybe the long-past dead_

_I know not_

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_Maybe that's why_

_I search for answers_

_ To find why the day dies at night_

_And why the stars fade, in the dawn_

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_Does anyone I'll ever know_

_Know why, Melkor turned away_

_From the light, the radiant Light_

_Where the Night still comes evermore_

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_Who knows_

_Where the stars go_

_After night_

_And who knows why_

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_The sun leaves_

_After day_

_Will I ever know_

_These answers_

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_Or will_

_Answers always be_

_A mystery_

_To me..._

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__*~end~* 

So, what did you think of TOMH 1? I think it was pretty good. The song throughout most of the fic, _Only Time_, is by Enya. And the song at the very end is by me. It's called _A Mystery To Me_. Every chapter is going to have a song by an artist throughout and at the very end, a song by me. 

Arwen is really different in this, isn't she? Did you ever think Arwen would get depressed? And Legolas would get married? Oops, I forgot to put him in. Oh well, he'll be in next chapter when we take a look at the mind of Estel. The next chapter's in Estel's POV. 

See you next time, 

_tinuviel_

PS: Some of the italic words aren't Elvish. Sorry about that! 

PPS: Translations 

Eldalie: Elves that went to Valinor 

Quendi: Elves 

Valar: Powers of the world 

Atani: Men 

You should recognize things like Imladris from the books. Estel means hope and Ithil means moon. 


End file.
